Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Sibling Rivalry Among Children | Causes and Handling Tips

Sibling rivalry is one of the most common issues found in a house with more than one child. Chaos or silent treatment usually occurs within the house. This is a concern for parents who only want to have peace at home with the hope that the children will get along and learn to appreciate one another.

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Forms of Sibling Rivalry

  • Normal Case

This involves mild name-calling and the common teasing that siblings normally do to each other.

  • Angry Bickering

The bickering is loud, and the name-calling becomes serious. They are likely to give each other a look and will be blaming the other for problem issues.

  • Potential Danger

The situation gets potentially dangerous once the siblings start to fight for real. There will be more arguments and tattling.

  • Dangerous Case

The siblings are very likely to cause physical or emotional harm to one another. This may involve stealing, hiding, or throwing important belongings of the other. It can also involve lying, saying hurtful words, and hitting.

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

What Causes Sibling Rivalry

There are many factors that can affect or cause rivalry among siblings. Here are some of the reasons why it occurs.

  • Birth Order can influence sibling rivalry.
  • The difference in age and a big gap can affect the siblings’ relationship.
  • When the gender of the child is not preferable by the parent, this can increase the rivalry among the children.
  • The typical rivalry of boys versus girls can also cause this.
  • Physical Factors such as the physical body condition and environment can affect sibling rivalry.
  • The temperament of the child.
  • The child wants to get your attention.
  • The child likes the power he has over his sibling.
  • The child is bored and thinks that irritating his sibling is better than nothing at all.
  • The child wants to have a connection with his sibling, and he does this by irking the other.
  • An important family occurrence such as the first time in school, leaving for college, marriage in the family, or even divorce.
  • Family Conditions such as finance, working parents, and the relationship of parents.
  • The Parenting Style and Attitude affect how siblings treat each other. If the parents are extremely strict or lax on the family rules, it can have an impact on sibling rivalry.

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Benefits  

It may come as a shock, but yes, there can be benefits in having a sibling rivalry. As long as the rivalry is not stepping on a heated and dangerous footing, the children will learn life skills that they can use in the long run.

  • Learn the Importance of Difference in Opinions
  • Learn how to be Assertive
  • Learn how to deal with difficult people
  • Learn to Negotiate and how to Compromise
  • Learn how to Manage Conflict, Find Solution, and Resolve Issues

Abby and Ynzo

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Handling Sibling Rivalry

  • Establish family rules

Family rules serve as both guides and reminders on what core values must be implemented in the family. Setting up rules firsthand will help prevent a bad situation of sibling rivalry.

  • Understand the Root of the Problem

Being well informed of the root cause of the problem can help you resolve the issue. If the cause is their age difference or birth order, you can have a better idea of how you can approach the children. Your understanding of their circumstances will help in diminishing the weight of siblings rivalry.

  • How you Approach the Issue

It is important to keep a positive attitude and not to lose your cool. Try not to make any decisions when you are mad because it will only make matters worse. Remember that rivalry can be good for children. You must only intervene once it starts to get offensive and awful. You can easily spot these signs by remaining conscious of the things that are happening to your children. You need to act accordingly depending on the gravity of the rivalry. If the rivalry is in Angry Bickering mode, try to lighten the mood of your children. They both need to cool down. When there is a potential danger, you must stop them from getting it worse. Help them in resolving the issue and eventually compromise. If the situation is already a Dangerous Case, a parent must immediately intervene. The children need to be separated from the other and dealt with with patience and an open mind.

The rivalry between the children does not always have to end up bad. It is hard for parents to handle the rivalry when the situation worsens, but it can also help the children to grow and become better people. It all comes down to how you, as a parent, will take action on the issue.

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

Sibling Rivalry | Causes and Handling Tips

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29 Comments

  1. Marvin Bayona

    In my opinion, there is sibling rivalry because of the insecurities they have for one another and it triggers more when they feel jealousy, jealousy from the attention of parents, from the things they own, performance in school or capacities from each other. It may start from not-so-serious rivalry up to it became hatred from one another which it is not good in family. It affects in the value of child the feels anger and hatred due to sibling rivalry because it teaches the child to forget the family ties, insecurities over acceptance and support, greediness etc. It changes the perspective of the child that most probably when not solve it may carry out once he/she may into having relationship or when having their own family too.

  2. Angelo T. Elare BSIT 2F3

    I think that siblings rivalry happen when there’s lock of resources like if there’s only one toy of course children will fight for it but it can be avoided by how parents raised them, they can thought them lessons to prevent this happening. It is related to our topic beacuse it tackled family values.

  3. Malaga,Louis miguel S. Bsit 2f4

    This sibling rivalry help me as a person it can help me to lessen to love my younger brother and it can help us to communicate easly becouse if we are always fighting we cannot communicate easly becouse we have anger to each other the lesson i always learn love your brother as you love you’r self

  4. Baldeveso,Emar B.

    Sibling rivalry is the jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters. It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. … Working things out with siblings gives your children a chance to develop important skills like cooperating and being able to see another person’s point of view. Kind, supportive and understanding influence their siblings to act and behave in similar ways. … In a new paper, published in the journal Child Development, we show that siblings can also play a role in the development of empathy.

  5. Riega D. Monteza, BSIT-2F4

    For me, sibling rivalry aids in my maturation and ability to deal with adversity. Sibling rivalry also assisted me in determining the type of person I am. The way my siblings and I fight gives me realizations and understanding of myself. Sibling rivalry does not always result in negative behaviors in me because it has led me to become the person I am today. My siblings taught me how to control my temper when I became angered. Later, after my siblings and I fought, I realized that competition could destroy our relationship. As a result, I’m becoming wiser with each passing day I spend with them. Because of sibling rivalry, I’ve realized that no matter what happens, they’ll always be my siblings. This is because siblings are always the ones who push you to be your true self, but they’re also the ones who help you when someone is being mean to you and are always on your side, especially when you’re sick.

  6. Yulatic, Junmer Paul A.

    Having a sibling is fun, but it may be annoying at times because there are some things you don’t understand each other about. As an older brother, I enjoy teasing my younger brother, and we frequently disagree, which leads to fighting and hurling various objects at each other in our house. There is an impact for me in having a larger age gap with the other sibling. However, sibling rivalry can help each of us shape ourselves to be better versions of ourselves since we can go to our siblings and ask for advice or chat about anything that can spark a link with one other.

  7. Wenna Donguines

    It helps me to grow as a person in a way of making me the best version of my self. It stands also as a guidance for my development or for my growth. Just like teaching me how to be strong and productive whenever things or challenges come. It helps me a lot to who I am today.

    Wenna Donguines BSIT 2-M1

  8. Chandylou L. Lava, BSIT 2 F4

    How can Sibling Rivalry help you as a person? Reading the article has helped me as a person to be more conscious of what is going on between my siblings and me, and it has also helped me to see that one of the reasons for our rivarly is our age gap, which is true, because they sometimes refuse to share things with me because of my age. But, now that I’m aware that sibling rivalry can be turned into a Dangerous Case, I’m not inclined to pursue that route. I just let everything be okay by this time so that I and my siblings may be at peace and focus on things that will make us both happy.

  9. Althea Murielle Mendoza BSIT 2-F4

    How can sibling rivalry help you as a person? Well for me, sibling rivalry have an advantages and disadvantages that can help you as a person. First, let’s talk about the advantages. The advantages is that, if you are having a sibling rivalry in your house, like for example, you and your sibling are fighting about something that you both like. Then there will be a possibility that you can learn how to give and just let go if it will make your sibling happy even though you like it very much. That value can help you as a person. One of the advantages is also, sibling rivalry helps you to identify the things that you like and you don’t like. Helps you to be happy for the others successes. The disadvantage of sibling rivalry is that maybe you will grow hatred in your heart and you’ll bring it until you grow and because of that you’ll also hate and hurt other people. So as much as possible love your sibling and be fair to each other. In the end no can help and understand you but your family.

  10. GERRO PALANOG

    Sibling rivalry seem normal to every household with more than 1 children. In fact, as part of a family with 3 children, there is no day where quarrel doesn’t occur among siblings. As the eldest, it is very challenging for me. I am the most mature among siblings and with this, our parents expect me to be the one to adjust, prolong my patience and have enough understanding over my siblings. Though it is sometimes their fault, I am the one who will give way and accept all the blame.

    As a person, sibling rivalry help me to understand deeper about the issues between siblings. Different kind or level of rivalry really needs attention for the problem between both parties must be addressed. It is giving me awareness about the rivalry that exist among siblings. It encourages me to not pursue war, rather spread love and care among family members. It made me want to educate my siblings that misunderstandings can’t be avoided but with patience and understanding, the house can be easily called as a peaceful home.

    It is a challenge to surpass everyday to not get mad among my siblings. But I am grateful to this lesson for it molded me with values. It made me want to spread more love with my family. I do not know what some of us go through that sometimes, they need attention. They got angry but there is always a reason behind it. We have to help each other grow and be mindful because at the end of the day, it is us who will be lending a hand to each other. Because if we do not, then who? Family is always the strongest foundation to lean on.

  11. Clarence Manejable

    This method aids in the development of children’s self-esteem. It will be less necessary for the children to compete or battle for affection, attention, and respect, or to show their value by disparaging a sibling or sister, as a result of this. It has the ability to educate communication and relationship skills. Rivalry may be fueled through sibling connections. Love and hatred, play and fight, and taunting and ridiculing of each other are all part of a passionate relationship. When siblings are young, they frequently have a tense relationship. They become better friends as they get older, and disagreements between them become increasingly rare. To your sibling, being a nice big brother or sister may make a significant difference. The relationship between siblings is also an important aspect of developing into a mature and responsible person in the world, even though parents can be good role models. You can be a good big brother or sister to your sister by supporting them, doing kind things for them, and setting a great example for them to look up to and follow.

  12. Monalisa D. Bedrio BSIT 2F4

    Having a sibling rivalry is a pain in head but it can grow you as a person you can learn to manage difficult decisions in life and find solutions in every problems just like having a siblings you are having difficult situation when you are fighting but you are finding solutions to make you up again. You can learn to negotiate and the difference in opinions that’s why having a rivalry can make you grow.

  13. Melitado, Angel B. BSIT 2M1

    Sibling rivalry is not new anymore to most family. People says that it will not benefit the household, but it cannot be denied that it also has some good effects to the siblings involved. It allows the child to be determined in his or her goals. He/she is used to have a mindset that one must have strong will and must be dedicated to be able to reach the top. It may be intimidating for some, but these traits will help someone to be firm in life and achieve what he/she aspires to become.

  14. Jovy Moreno

    As a younger brother, I and my sister often fight or argue because of small things, and I think it is just normal because we have different perspective towards the things around us. Although sometimes we offend each other, at the end of the day we realize that we make some points. Whenever I speak, she tries to understand my opinion and my feelings, same as well when she explains herself, I consider her opinion and feelings too. I can say that sibling rivalry is a bit healthy for siblings because it only shows that they are interacting with each other and they care for each other. If my sister and I argue, I always listen to her since she is older than me, then she has enough knowledge and experiences than me. Her advices matter and it helps me become a better person and be able to understand other people’s opinion too.

  15. Sharmaine Bantillo BSIT 2-F4

    How can Sibling Rivalry help you as a person?
    In my opinion, as a second child, having one older sister and two younger brothers has a tendency to cause chaos at home. We get mad and jealous of each other sometimes, throwing things that may hurt us. To avoid bad situations of sibling rivalry, our parents teach us core values and how to nurture a positive relationship in between one another through ups and downs. It helps me grow and mature as a person because my parents influenced me with words of guidance that led me to be a good leader for them.

  16. John Rey Gonzaga BSIT 2M1

    Sibling rivalry can help me as a person, because it develop my attitude. Sibling rivalry is the common issue in the siblings or inside the house, and I develop my self on how to be contented of what we have and being pair to all my siblings.I learned to handled my self and to love my siblings and don’t fight over everything because no matter what happened siblings is always there. Sibling rivalry can help us if we can handle and make guide in our daily lives. So we need to value the relationship with our brothers and sisters because no matter what happens siblings you will not be abandoned, because our life in this world is short, so we need to be happy and love no matter what our state in life.

  17. Ely John B. Laureano

    Sibling rivalry can help you to be a highly competitive individual.
    Sibling rivalry is unavoidable if you have more than one child, but even though it is a common occurrence in families. Sibling rivalry is a phrase used to refer the ongoing conflict between siblings who were raised in the same household. It can happen between blood related siblings and not related by blood.
    Sibling rivalry, in my opinion, can help you become a highly competitive individual. Having a rival can help you become a competitive that can make the world go round. They are the reason you are who you are and live in the world you do. What most people don’t realize is the sheer amount of determination required to make a genuine difference. Sibling rivalry could actually strengthen someone to be just as competitive in the world which could leave to great things. Great things that can be beneficial and can lead you to the path of becoming a highly competitive individual. To show what I mean, A rival helps you set a standard to strive for. You can always learn a lot from your rival’s mistakes without making those mistakes yourself. A rival constantly exposes your flaws and tests your limits, providing constructive feedback to help you improve. Of course, if one wants to change for the better, one must be willing to learn (or unlearn). In times of adversity, a rival may turn out to be your best friend. And if you two ever collaborate on a project, you could become an unstoppable force to be reckoned with. But you know what? Don’t hate your sibling too much because he sees you as an inspiration somewhere deep inside, and as a sibling, that can be difficult to accept. Instead of that, Learn from your rival, and discover how his path can make you stronger. And sometimes you discover a lot about yourself. And the best thing is to learn to let go of this feeling and stop hating because you realized life is too short to not forgive and live your life. At this point, you have the upper hand.
    Having a rival can be a great way to boost your motivation and improve the performance of yourself, as long as you stay away from the pitfalls. To reap the benefits of rivalry, it’s critical to stick to your principles, develop a critical thinking habit, and avoid taking unnecessary risks.

  18. Patricia Pendon BSIT2-M1

    Sibling rivalry helps me realize that it helps me to become a strong person because when you fight, you have the confidence to fight for your rights. As time passed by, I realized that when we grow older we become more mature and we avoid fighting with our siblings. Rivalry is just a normal thing between you and your siblings because you fight over jealousy or sometimes getting annoyed at your siblings who are always bickering with you. It may also happen because of our culture where our parents sometimes unconsciously compare us to our siblings. It can develop our communication skills. For example, when there are situations where someone argues with you over something, I know that I can handle the argument because I had plenty of experience with my sibling when it comes to war of words and how to avoid crying. Most importantly, the relationship between your siblings can improve because there will be love and respect that can minimize fighting.

  19. Sibling rivalry is the most common problem in the family especially the family with big number of people. Although it is not a good thing to be in a competition with your siblings it can still help you as a person. It let’s you understand that their are differences in every individual when it comes to choices, likes, hobbies and decisions. If you widen your understanding you’ll be able to learn to be more sensitive with others feelings, give way and understand your siblings and better understand and access the reason of their behavior towards you. It teaches you to be more considerate and to learn to control your temper so that you won’t make impulsive decisions in life. Being in rival with your siblings is normal and it let’s you learn a lot of things in life and it shapes you to become a better person.

  20. Maria Ennah G. Zamora

    Sibling Rivalry is common amongst brothers and sisters. The only thing you are exempted in this cause is being an only child like me. Although I may not have siblings I observed some of the sibling rivalries of some of my cousins. For examples you can gain independence, overcome your anger management issues, learn how to forgive and listen and many more. Sure you can hate your siblings for that because nobody likes a chaotic household right? And according to this site there are many factors that affects sibling rivalry some of it are: Birth order, Age gap, Temperament , etc. Not all sibling rivalry has benefits sometimes some sibling rivalry could lead to dissatisfaction among siblings especially if one sibling has pride and mostly it would never reconcile. Some make it as a lesson and some of it will make make it as a benefit to become stronger so that no matter what the people will tell or call you, you will be unfazed it will also lead you to a mature mindset once you grew up you will recall all your memories with your siblings and thank them for existing and for having those small fights or arguments because after all they are still family and is a part of your life.

  21. Maria Ennah G. Zamora

    Sibling rivalry is common amongst brothers and sisters. The only thing you are exempted in this cause is being an only child like me. Although I may not have siblings I observed some of the sibling rivalries of some of my cousins. For examples you can gain independence, overcome your anger management issues, learn how to forgive and listen and many more. Sure you can hate your siblings for that because nobody likes a chaotic household right? And there are some factors that could lead to sibling rivalry some of it are one sibling wants to gain attention from their parents, another example is jealousy from other siblings, just by being naughty, etc. Not all sibling rivalry has benefits sometimes some sibling rivalry could lead to dissatisfaction among siblings especially if one sibling has pride and mostly it would never reconcile. Some make it as a lesson and some of it will make make it as a benefit to become stronger so that no matter what the people will tell or call you, you will be unfazed it will also lead you to a mature mindset once you grew up you will recall all your memories with your siblings and thank them for existing and for having those small fights or arguments because after all they are still family and is a part of your life.

  22. As a person sibling rivalry doesn’t always end up to be bad. Having rival in the future when growing up is normal so sibling rivalry is a stepping stone for us to be competent and competitiveness in a good way. Sibling rivalry develops our patience and temperance towards every situation that is quite to handle .Sibling rivalry doesn’t always developing anger towards our sibling, it is a way that can build our connection and love towards each other. It develops our understanding on every difgicult situation to make a good decision.

  23. Jeffrey F. Bagahansol BSIT 2M1

    In the family, the competition cannot be lost, for example, the siblings. Because once it has been compared the two reasons for the development of competition with them. Piru told them how to handle it or how to manage it. It’s like if you can’t come up with something that the siblings is good at or he can do it easily. It is only right that you do what you can or according to your ability. it’s not that you pressure yourself into something you can’t handle. so as the days go by you know that your ability to adapt to your self will develop whole and become the foundation of yourself eventually.

  24. John Miguel L. Villa

    This is one of my favorite topic since, I have a older sister. Our rivalry as siblings help me a lot as a person in terms of being kind, sharing and a lovely person not only to her but also to others. Our mother always says that we must be sharing in anything we have whether it is food, toys, and to help each other in anything we do since, we often fight for these matters. Now that we are grown up, we realizes how selfish we are especially in food that sometimes we hide under the bed just to avoid being ask for food. But it all help me to realize the importance of family in ourselves. That in the end we all have our family when our whole world fades.

  25. James Aaron A. Juanillo

    I guess this will give me a more understanding on what my siblings felt, however this might be hard if you have a bad connection between each other if the problem is age gap, born order, finance, etc. But it is important if we treat each other in our family with respect not only on the parent but as well as for our siblings because somehow it is not a bad idea to remember the happiest moment together. For me i am the eldest in our family and i have a little sister ang a 15 yr. old brother and as brother i make sure to attached their feelings with me so that we help each other in the back and build a strong relationship. It is a fact that we cant ignore arguments but its a kind of argue that cares, afterall its the matter of situation and understanding in every action we made. Sibling rivalry is something that we cant stop but we can still change that into love.

  26. Mena M. Alolod

    We cannot avoid sibling rivalry in a family. It usually happens if the parents’ parenting doesn’t focus attentively on both of their children. It can affect the behavior of a child as he or she grows. Every child has different behaviors, even siblings, but it depends on how the parents handle their children when this situation happens. For me, having been part of a big family and having many siblings, I can say that it happened to us sometimes when we were young. We really didn’t know that it was not good, we only knew that what is yours is yours. As we grew older, along the way, our parents taught us to be generous not only to strangers, but most importantly, with our siblings. Whatever we have, we should share it with one another, because at the end of the day, we are siblings and we should support and always be there for each other. As in siblings, you can’t avoid having a stubborn one, and because of that, it will test your patience and sometimes you may explode because of the anger you feel, but as time goes by, I learned how to control my anger because my parents taught us that if it’s happening, we just ignore and distance ourselves to not make the problem bigger, which may lead to worse arguments. Then I realized that as I grow older, everything that happens to us with my siblings, even right now, especially the advice of my parents, what they taught us, and what we see in every situation we encounter in our family. I became more patient and aware of people’s behaviors and understood everything in a positive way because that is what our parents taught us. All of that has made a great contribution to who I am right now as a person and to my becoming the best version of myself.

  27. Ann M. Dela Puerta

    Being I’m a first child. Siblings Rivalry really help me as a person, I learned to forgive them that I need more patience when if my brother or sister has a argument between us there is no way but I choose to be humble but in all times as long as can handle my angerness. It’s Natural having a Siblings Rivalry in family no one is family is perfect relationship in each other but we need a deep communication between children and parents that teach your children good and treat them equally and fairness. But now I grown up I realized that doesn’t need to get a jealous in my sisters and brothers but I need to understand them even they are still on processing as a person that needs a guidance by parents. My parents realized me we need to understand each other, helping each other instead of fighting. I became a responsible daughter, learning mature handle the responsibilities between in family and School. I learned to be independent to be strong. Must of all I learned to my parents advice that should be learn to be content, what we have now and be thankful everyday.

  28. Noel D. Ecang BSIT 2M1

    Mostly in the family, the jealousy or envy will not be lost because of their bad behavior. They’re compared with some siblings that’s why the issues or problem will prevail. That’s the reason why some of the siblings having competition to one an other. But we can handle it for some reasons, we need to appreciate the things that we have and we need to know or learn how to clapping others success because our sucess will come in the right time.

  29. Jamaica Catacutan

    Well Sibling rivalry does not exist in my family because we respect each other, and as the third youngest daughter, I respect both of my older siblings because our parents raised and treated us equally. That is why I was spared the so-called sibling rivalry.

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